My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We when began dating, he made mention of wanting to go into the field of law enforcement but I didn't think too hard about it. We were young, still in school and our careers (at that point in time) were not a hot topic. Time went on, we graduated, began going to college and my husband (then boyfriend) was still talking about law enforcement. More than just talking about it, getting a degree related to law enforcement and looking at agencies to apply to. I remember the feeling in the very beginning of being so damn proud (I still am). I wanted Click for more
How law enforcement life can strengthen your marriage
Guest post by Cote Did you know that if you search the internet about “law enforcement marriages” you get mostly articles about marriage counseling, statistics of blue divorces, and tips on how to save your crumbling police marriage? It’s not very reassuring. And if you’ve been around long enough you’re bound to have heard the horror stories from other LEOWs personally. Station affairs, strained marriages, cheating officers, cheating wives, separate lives, lonely kids. Spouses fed up with the shift work and beaten down by the untreated PTSD, tired of "solo" parenting and missing holidays Click for more
First responder and military families: We are one
You know when a blogger sits down to write but is at a loss for words, it must be because of something pretty incredible. This past weekend I had the honor of attending an Empowered Spouses Retreat with the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation, one of the many retreats offered. This foundation does what is so needed within the law enforcement and military communities. They give an opportunity for 20 military and first responder spouses to gather in one place for a long weekend of confidence building, support, empowerment, and self reflection. We were nestled in the Teton National Forest in Click for more
Why Some Law Enforcement Families Just Say No…
To a law enforcement family, time is precious. I am sure time is important to non-law enforcement families too, no doubt. But in a law enforcement family, we treat time a little differently, you see. We protect and count every second. We count every second our spouse is out keeping the community safe. We count every second until our officer walks through the front door. We count every second we have with our officer until shift starts again. We count every second our officer is home with us safely. Every second counts. As a police wife, we do a lot of things alone, a lot of the time. We do Click for more
The Ultimate Gift Guide for a Police Officer & his Wife
The holidays are almost upon us. Well, they are practically here because Hobby Lobby has had displays up since June, am I right? I am a planner, by nature, so I like to be prepared for holiday gift giving as best as I can. I am also not the type of person to buy a ton of gifts right before Christmas. I start early and spread out the buying (& spending) over a few months. Which means I have to put the bug into my husband's ear early that I need gift ideas. When it comes time for buying presents for my husband around the holidays I used to draw a blank. He doesn't always give me ideas Click for more
The truth about love languages for a blue line marriage
Guest Post by Cote Are you familiar with love languages? I often joke that my love language is prosecco and pizza, or binging a certain Netflix show, or Amazon Prime, or… But I’m not talking about those love languages. I’m talking about the five love languages Gary Chapman developed. You might have taken the online quiz at some point, or gotten one of his books gifted to you (we received one for our wedding). If you’re totally unfamiliar with it, the basic concept is we all have a preference towards one or two love languages, and respond to our spouse more positively when they Click for more
How to handle the holidays as a law enforcement family
The thought of the holidays for many law enforcement families is stressful. Knowing that your loved one may not be celebrating with you is a downer- I'll admit it. It is not easy trying to figure out when you will actually celebrate your holiday together. Then throw in coordinating family functions with extended family. It gets rather tricky and not everyone is understanding- even extended family. The opposite side of the spectrum is a law enforcement wife and family that is so used to the holidays apart that they don't miss a beat. They are used to the rescheduling and holidays are just one Click for more
A Comfortable Way to Show Support for Law Enforcement: a Printed Kicks review
This is a sponsored/affiliate post. Proud Police Wife received a pair of Printed Kicks in exchange for an honest review. I love being able to show my support for law enforcement any way that I can! Whether it is in a big or small way, I know my support is always appreciated. Support obviously comes from the heart, but I am a huge fan of thin blue line and law enforcement wife apparel. I don't always wear it out and about for all to see, but in smaller settings where I feel comfortable, I will proudly show off my thin blue line purchases. Recently, I saw some of my fellow Click for more
How to Find Your New Normal in Police Wife Life
How to Find Your New Normal In Police Wife Life- 4 Steps to Take Today A guest post by Heather S. My husband is a police officer. I'm sure if you're reading this, yours is as well. Or, you're curious as to see why the police culture and life is a place where there is no normal? I am new to the law enforcement life. My husband wanted to be a police officer for a long time and even took a couple civil service tests thinking that was the way to get in. Long story short, he was a sheet metal worker for eight years and then became a satellite installation technician for Click for more
3 Things to Remember when your Husband is On Duty
You watch as your police officer husband pulls out of the driveway in his patrol car. He is headed to work for a 12 hour night shift. You saw him for a matter of 5 minutes the entire day. You worked your full time job and you are just getting home yourself. On days he works, you see one another in passing. That's it. You have the rest of the evening to yourself. Home. Alone. You have 2 options right now: You can sit home. Alone. You can worry, be sad, be scared, be bored. Wait by the phone for his call, his text. Hardly sleep. Be tired the next day. You can live this constant cycle Click for more
My Husband is Off Duty…Questions to NOT ask a Police Officer and His Family
It has happened to all of us. Those dreaded "police work" questions. You meet your husband for a quick bite to eat before his shift starts, he is in his uniform and his patrol car is parked outside. You get 20, quick minutes of "family time" and your husband is approached by a citizen asking for some quick advice. Or how about, your husband is off for the weekend (FINALLY!!) and your neighbors see his patrol car parked in your driveway. He quickly steps outside to check the mail but 20 minutes later he is still outside. He has been stopped by a neighbor, who is asking for "advice" on Click for more
The BEST Alternative to Weddings Bands for a Law Enforcement Couple
This is a sponsored post. Proud Police Wife received rings in exchange for an honest review. All reviews and opinions are honest and my own. Sometime after our first daughter was born, I developed a metal allergy. This meant that my beautiful, sentimental engagement ring and wedding band from my husband, left me with a burning, bright red ring around my ring finger. When worn for a long period of time, usually 3 days or more, I was left with unpleasant symptoms that took weeks to clear up and it resulted in me not wearing my ring much anymore. I would only slip it on for special Click for more
How to Redirect Your Fear as a Police Wife
Fear is something that can control you, if you let it. It will absolutely consume you and your life will be negatively affected. Fear from your husband's job exists- it is a real thing. As police wives, we allow that fear to come into our lives because our husband's job is our life. Whether or not, we want to believe that, it is true. We live our lives around our officer's schedule and when he has days off and days on. Fear is not something we always discuss openly. It is an emotion that is often times bottled up inside of us and we are overwhelmed with it's place inside our Click for more
The Secret to Being Friends with a Police Wife
So let me start by saying, anyone can be friends with a police wife, obviously. There is no secret police wife group or tribe. I realize that may also be implied by the title, but I write this post to let you know that a friendship with a police wife is different. It is one that will be treated slightly differently and for good reason. Yes, police wives tend to stick together, but we do have friends outside of police wife life, too. I have gone through many friendships in my 33 years of life and all of them are different. However, the hardest friendships seem to be the ones that don't Click for more
My Go-To Source for Thin Blue Line Gear (& a brand you can trust)
Thank you to Thin Blue Line USA for sponsoring this post! All opinions and reviews are honest and mine own. I only share brands I know and trust. It has always been important to me to show my love and appreciation for law enforcement. First responders rarely get the credit that they deserve and a little encouragement goes a long way, especially in today's climate. More importantly, as a police wife I love to show my officer support and love for the Blue Line family. While this love and support always starts at home and comes from the heart, I also like to proudly show my officer just Click for more
How to Reset After a Crazy Week of Police Wife Life
You are a wife, maybe a mom, the maid, the chef, mrs. fix-it, the shopper, the planner, the budgeter, the chauffeur. Sound familiar? As police wives, we take on a lot. At times, things run smoothly and other times we feel like we can not juggle one more thing or we may snap. Schedules are constantly changing within your family and, at times, we refer to our weeks as our husband's "short week" or "long week" depending on how many days he works in a row. We often dread the "long weeks" and look forward to the "short weeks" so we can hopefully feel caught up on life. It is so Click for more
Your First Year of “Solo” Parenting as a Police Wife: What to Expect
I recently wrote about ways to rock "solo" parenting as a police wife. Having kids, especially young ones, while living the law enforcement life can be difficult, no doubt. But after posting this article, I kept thinking about the police wife that is just entering this lifestyle maybe after a career change or the police wife that has a new baby. The first year is by far the hardest. The ones that truly need the most help are not the veterans or seasoned wives, it is the newer wives when it comes to parenting. The "unknown" is what makes this life hard to navigate. As a newer police wife or Click for more
How To Stay Strong When the Support for Law Enforcement is Weak
The current climate regarding law enforcement is down right scary. We hear it, we see it, we feel it. I feel like my only option is to talk about it today. I, too, feel angry and scared that our loved ones must walk into the unknown and chaos each and every day just for doing their jobs. It is wrong. I feel that the media is a huge driving force behind the lack of support for law enforcement. Stories are spun, lies are told, and law enforcement seems to be the most misunderstood career with violent repercussions. As police wives, we stand by and watch all of this. We watch the media, we hear Click for more
Why Women Need to Build Each Other Up! (Not Tear Each Other Down)
Why Women Need to Build Each Other Up! (Not Tear Each Other Down) Why does it feel like being a woman is so hard these days? Is it just me? I hear so much judgement against other moms and women daily. Quite frankly, it is exhausting. Our conversations seem to circle around the same topics. Topics that make us feel judged for every decision we make. Topics that make us, women, feel like we must be superwomen, able to do it all and do it all perfectly! How often do you hear these topics in conversation? Do you breastfeed or formula feed? Are you a stay at home mom or working mom? Do you Click for more
Top 5 Ways to Know Your Husband Works Night Shift
At some point in your officer's law enforcement career, he will probably work night shift. It is almost inevitable. It takes a lot of adjustment on everyone's part (your husband, you as the police wife, your children, etc.) to get used to night shift. For us, the whole family dynamic changed. Schedules, events, you name it- it changed! Along with the changes of night shift, came new habits and routines. Interesting ones, to say the least. Unless you live a first responder life style, of some kind, you probably won't relate. Here are the most common ways to know if your husband works night Click for more
How to be a rockstar solo parent when you’re married to a cop
So I know what you are thinking, "this is not what I signed up for". When you are married and have an involved spouse, it does not always seem "fair" to be a solo parent so much of the time. Let's be real here, shall we? We live a VERY unique lifestyle. One that many do not understand nor do they try to understand. Many do not understand why we (police wives) show up to events without our spouse. I often feel like, people who don't know me, think I am truly a single parent. As police wives, we too, go through so much because of our spouse's law enforcement career. One part of that is Click for more
Loving a Law Enforcement Officer When you Have PTSD
Guest Post by Alicia This month (June) is PTSD Awareness month and what better way to bring awareness to it than to understand someone who lives with it. I am a police wife and I have had PTSD since I was 14 years old. I went undiagnosed until I was 19 and mostly untreated until I was 27. I am obviously not a therapist and far from an expert. However, I have spent years living with this, trying to find things that work for me, and being the sister of a wounded veteran fighting his own battle with TBI and PTSD. I also have the unique perspective of living with an LEO while having this illness. Click for more
How to Learn to Trust your Officer (& why it is important)
Have you ever had your officer husband tell you to sit a certain way in a restaurant? He wants to face the door and you sit with your back to the door. What about a strategic plan to separate if you are in a store or public place? If you have been a police wife for any length of time, then I am sure you can relate. While those requests may seem odd or crazy to non-law enforcement families, we understand. Our officers are trained to protect. That protection does not only happen while on shift; it carries straight into their home lives and they have a need to protect the ones they love, as Click for more
How to Prepare for the Police Academy as a Police Wife
The phone rings. Your spouse just got the call. The call he was glued to his phone, waiting to hear. He was offered a position with the local law enforcement agency. He starts the academy next month! First, congrats to your soon to be officer! Second, welcome! Welcome to the law enforcement lifestyle. You are about to be a police wife! I know you must be feeling SO PROUD right now. I remember that feeling, too. That proud feeling never goes away. Every time you see your officer in that uniform, you will feel proud. Every time they sit in that cruiser, you will feel it, too. That feeling will Click for more
5 Things to do Before Your Cop Leaves for a Shift
Tomorrow is not promised. So living in the present and making each moment count is vital. Little things, like saying goodbye, are often taken for granted. I am not saying anything you haven't heard before. Be thoughtful in each situation and encounter that you have. While this list may seem obvious to some, we all, at times, need a reminder or motivation. You need it, I need it, a cop needs it. I am beside you in this journey as a police wife. I am neither above you nor in front of you. I, too, need to reflect on each day or each shift and ask myself if I did these simple things in life that Click for more
HELPFUL TIPS FOR PLANNING A VACATION AS A LAW ENFORCEMENT FAMILY
With ten plus years under my belt as a law enforcement wife, I can say that planning a vacation as a law enforcement family is difficult. Every time I approached the subject with my officer, I was left feeling frustrated and no further along in the process. And if I had to hear the phrase "we'll see," one more time, I was going to scream. I felt like "we'll see" was the answer for everything. He no longer says this to me (thank you, honey), but that took some time. In the beginning, I didn't quite understand "what the problem was" and why it was so hard for him to schedule time off. Click for more
Night Shift: 4 Reasons to Actually Like It
My husband has spent most of his 10 year law enforcement career on night shift. He just recently went to evening shift, but in my book it is nearly the same as night shift. Let's face it, they almost never get home "on time" in their line of work. Your hubby may text that he is getting ready to leave the office, but even THAT isn't always true. So many times, I wait and wait and wait, oh surprise, he got a call just as he was leaving. Night shift is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but over the years I have learned to find the silver lining. Days, or should I say nights, can be difficult Click for more
6 WAYS TO STAY CONNECTED TO YOUR OFFICER EVEN IF YOU AREN’T WITH HIM
Staying connected to your officer can be hard at times. You may only see him/her a few minutes a day, he/she may work shift work, your schedules conflict and are opposite. I have found that you have to be creative to stay connected to your officer and keep in contact with him/her. I seriously can not go days upon days without any interaction at all. Yes, it happens, but not if I can help it. I need to feel a sense of connection, some way or another. I think it is just my personality. I like to be around people, have a certain amount of adult interaction with friends, etc. So feeling a sense Click for more
WHY POLICE FAMILIES HAVE AN UNSPOKEN BOND
Rewind to 9 years ago. My husband and I had just gotten engaged. Within the first two weeks of being engaged I remember going to a fellow police families' home for a get together. The wives were in the kitchen talking and the officers were on the deck hanging out. The wives were discussing ideas they had about a police wife group they were forming for the LEO wives of our county; they seemed to bond nicely. I joined this group and met so many loyal, trusting police wives that year. And every year since. We don't always see each other. We all have busy lives, but when we do see one another, we Click for more
The #1 Phrase Police Wives Hear & Why
No matter what the circumstance, when I tell people what my husband does for a living, I hear the same thing from people, time and time again. In addition, people always seem surprised to hear that I am a stay at home mom and a police wife. The number 1 phrase I hear as a police wife is “I don't know how you do it!” “I don't know how you…. ~stay home alone at night ~deal with long hours ~deal with shift work ~eat meals alone ~put all three kids to bed by yourself ~deal with the worry of being a police wife ~watch the war of police in the media ~not have your husband home on holidays” Here's Click for more