How to Find Your New Normal In Police Wife Life- 4 Steps to Take Today
A guest post by Heather S.
My husband is a police officer. I’m sure if you’re reading this, yours is as well. Or, you’re curious as to see why the police culture and life is a place where there is no normal? I am new to the law enforcement life. My husband wanted to be a police officer for a long time and even took a couple civil service tests thinking that was the way to get in. Long story short, he was a sheet metal worker for eight years and then became a satellite installation technician for about a year. He wanted his dream to come true, and he wouldn’t stop until he found a way to get there. We found out that the college I graduated from in 2007 had a Law Enforcement Academy.
This was it. It was happening.
He signed up, completed the interview to get accepted. He received his acceptance letter and nothing has been the same since. My husband completed Academy back in May and has already been hired as a full time police officer for a nearby county and village. I am so excited, but I am terrified all at the same time.
It’s a culture, I get it. It’s a lifestyle. I get it. But. It’s crazy. Simply crazy. I did grow up with my big brother as a Corrections Officer in Tennessee and then he became a full time EMT in our hometown. The scanner was always on. Everything was always hectic, and the stories he would tell us gave me chills sometimes. However, having a police officer as your HUSBAND totally changes the game play in life!
Your schedules will change, your lifestyle will change. Everything you were used to doing, requires a bit of change all because your husband is in law enforcement.
Are you a new police wife like me? Is this “life” just starting for you, too? If you answered yes, then you may be asking, how do you create a “normal” life within police wife life?
First and foremost, I’ve noticed if I breathe and just stop for a second, everything seems to be not as stressful and overwhelming. My husband and I have two beautiful girls. We both work full time outside of the house. My job is a normal 8-5 job, Monday through Friday. My husband on the other hand is all weekends and some nights during the week. Despite being full time with plenty of over time, we always looks for opportunities to just breathe. Find little times throughout the day to stop and take a breath. Maybe during your drive to and from work? Maybe during a bathroom break? Breathing is such a small time commitment that I hope you can fit it in several times throughout your day.
Join a LEOW (Law Enforcement Officer’s Wife) Group
I have found several groups to be a part of on Facebook. If you do not like Facebook, I recommend creating an account just to find people to relate to and become friends with. Smaller groups are best so you can bond better. These women are going through pretty much the same things as I am (or you are!). You can vent here with protection, and confide in women who are married to police officers. Women you can relate to. Even if you are unsure, you can join and just watch until you feel comfortable enough to post your feelings or what you are going through. Venting to your husband is not always the best idea! You need women who understand what you are going through, women who are in your shoes right now. Trust me- a relatable police wife friend will make the world of difference!
Don’t obsess over it
You might think about your husband on a daily basis and what he’s doing while on duty. You cannot let this overwhelm you. I’ve let it bother me. I listen to the scanner at night and when I hear him in panic mode (which, I assume is panic mode but it’s just him either out of breath or I heard him wrong!), I get nervous and I cannot sleep. Or, my stomach is in knots until I hear from him. Many will say listening to the scanner is probably not the smartest thing unless these things don’t bother you. I turn it on before I go to bed at night just so I can hear him, but I know there will be a call that he goes on that I just should not hear about. He’s in God’s hands, and I know this. Have faith in your husband’s training and try to remain calm.
Embrace your new life
It has been weird. Awkward. Even uncomfortable at times. I feel as though I’m in the wrong place at the wrong time and sometimes I feel as though I don’t fit the “description” of a police wife. Well, here I am. I am a police wife. I am exactly that. I did not marry into this life. This life chose us after 8 years of marriage and 10 years of being together. So yes, it has been a culture shock, but embracing this new life is something that I have to do (and you too!) in order to feel comfortable and find your new normal. Take the bull by the horns and make a decision to work towards a successful police wife life everyday.
While police wife life can seem like a sudden, quick change compared to what you are used to, if you take the time to welcome it, you may change your mind. I get used to this life more and more each day. I am more comfortable in my “police wife shoes” than I was when I first started. Just understand that this life will not be easy overnight. Gradual changes and a positive attitude will help you find your new normal in no time!
If you are looking for support, be sure to join the Proud Police Wife closed Facebook group. It is a wonderful group of police wives just like you!
More about the author:
Heather is a mom of two beautiful girls, working outside of the home full time. She has a Bachelors in Organizational Management and a passion for helping others. Wife of an amazing Police Officer who graduated Academy in May of 2017 and started full time in July of 2017. She currently runs her own blog of mommy fun and is living day to day in this crazy, hectic, stressful but enjoyable life. Heather blogs at I Am Capturing the Moment.
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