Why Women Need to Build Each Other Up! (Not Tear Each Other Down)
Why does it feel like being a woman is so hard these days? Is it just me? I hear so much judgement against other moms and women daily. Quite frankly, it is exhausting.
Our conversations seem to circle around the same topics. Topics that make us feel judged for every decision we make. Topics that make us, women, feel like we must be superwomen, able to do it all and do it all perfectly!
How often do you hear these topics in conversation?
Do you breastfeed or formula feed? Are you a stay at home mom or working mom? Do you eat farm raised or wild caught? Organic or non-organic? Did you make a homecooked meal for dinner or order take out? (Or heaven forbid feed your children cereal for dinner like I did last night). Size 4 or size 24? Did you make the most perfect, “pinterest – worthy” class snack or buy prepackaged from the store? Did she eat lunch alone (and continue to work through lunch) or eat with her co-workers (and talk)? The list goes on and on.
While we don’t necessarily ask these questions out right, we feel judged on the answers or decisions we choose. The pressure is on. We FEEL it. As women, we feel put in this position to do better or “one up” each other or even ourselves. We want to exceed expectations time and time again when in reality we are stressed out. We are tired.
I PERSONALLY CAN’T KEEP UP! I feel so overwhelmed with this persona of “perfect” and having to keep up with the “latest” news. Some days I just want to throw in the towel and say, “Yes, my kids at McDonald’s today and they had non-organic milk. I still wear maternity shirts from time to time because they are comfortable. I let my kids play on the tablet so I could write this article. And my minivan looks like it has been torn apart by hungry raccoons and I probably won’t have time to clean it anytime soon. So judge me!”
Please, please stop having these conversations with your friends and women you know. These decisions really don’t matter. As women we need to stop these constant cycles of judgement and find ways to help one another.
Maybe your friend is struggling because her husband is out of town? Then offer support. Take her a meal, play with her kids, bring her wine, let her vent.
Out to dinner with your girlfriends? Don’t judge her if she orders the largest pasta dish on the menu with the highest carb content. Be happy you are with your friend & able to afford a meal out.
Be the type of friend that you want to have. Be non-judgemental, forgiving, accepting and just be REAL. Let your friends know that you make mistakes, you aren’t perfect and I guarantee you, they will want to show you the same.
These are the 3 reasons why we need to focus on building each other up- not tearing each other down:
We are on the same TEAM.
We are all women here, right? So why are we making it so hard on ourselves? Help each other. Work together. Offer support. Lend a hand. Whatever it may be, work hard to remain on the same team and find commonalities.
We need to think about the little people who are watching us and listening (even when you don’t think they are). We are paving the way for our children. Let’s show our daughter’s how we need to act towards other females. How we stand united and help one another, no matter what. Show your son’s the proper way females should be treated and how they should treat their female friends. Be the example.
We are going back in time.
All this negativity makes us go backwards instead of forwards. We aren’t going to grow as a nation and promote positivity if we are tearing down every friendship first. This is how “cliques” begin and how women begin to feel isolated; it doesn’t just stop in high school. Unfortunately, it seems high school is only the beginning.
Bottom line: we are all WOMEN. It doesn’t matter where you were raised, where you live now, how you like to raise your kids, what meals you put on the table. We are all doing the best we can each and every day. We are working our tails off and we are all tired. We are expected to fit more a given day but with less time available. Can’t we find some commonalities, somewhere?
We have to start focusing on making our lives easier as moms, wives, co-workers, friends, sisters. It is time to move forward and shut down these negative judgements on women!
P.S. This negativity is what led me to delete half of my friends on Facebook!