Fear is something that can control you, if you let it. It will absolutely consume you and your life will be negatively affected. Fear from your husband’s job exists- it is a real thing. As police wives, we allow that fear to come into our lives because our husband’s job is our life. Whether or not, we want to believe that, it is true. We live our lives around our officer’s schedule and when he has days off and days on.
Fear is not something we always discuss openly. It is an emotion that is often times bottled up inside of us and we are overwhelmed with it’s place inside our minds. We often have a hard time discussing our fears related to law enforcement, because many friends and family do not relate. In addition, we don’t want to “burden” our husband’s because they already do so much. The stresses of their job are high, so adding a heavy topic after these stressful shifts seem too much.
Fear is an unfortunate part of the job. It is an aspect that is hard to control, but we must rise above it. We must learn to conquer it. We must learn to fight against that fear.
But, first, we must learn why we are fearful.
What makes you fearful?
We all have different reasons why we are fearful. It may be a combination of things and not just one single aspect of our husband’s job that we are scared of. Personally, I fear the unknown. I like to be in control, it is my nature and just a part of my Type A personality. That doesn’t mesh well with my husband’s career in law enforcement. I lose control knowing I have none when he walks out that door.
So what makes you fearful? Is it the use of a weapon? The climate in today’s world? A combination of everything associated with your spouse’s job?
Figure out the real reasons why you have fear associated with police life.
Realize that these fears are NORMAL. No matter what they are and where they come from, we all have them. The only difference is, some of our fears are larger and the way we deal with our fears differs. New police wives or veterans, it doesn’t matter- we all have fears in some way or another.
How we deal with our fears is what matters.
Take control of your fears
This is where the work comes in. Learning to conquer your fears is hard, I won’t lie, but you will have a much healthier and positive mindset when you do.
The best way to take control over your fears is to try to redirect them. Put the energy you would spend on that fear and direct it towards something much more useful for your life.
Try to find an outlet, that fits best with your personality.
Some healthy ways to redirect your fear are:
- Confide in a friend or love one. Talk about your fears and move on. Don’t let it take you over.
- Journal. Write your emotions down on paper and leave them there. I talk more about journaling here.
- Exercise. Go to the gym, run, swim. Whatever exercise is your preference is what you should do.
- Take a relaxing shower or bath. I actually do a lot of thinking in the shower and I often feel better after.
- Read. I love the devotional Cuffs & Coffee by Allison Uribe. I am able to reflect on this life each and every day while also writing down my thoughts in this devotional.
- Pray. Release your fears to God and have faith in all that HE does.
- Get out of the house. Get some coffee, take a drive, get a change of pace. New scenery can often bring new emotions (and hopefully brighter ones).
- Take up a new hobby. This is more for the long term. Continue to learn to redirect your fears by finding interest in a new hobby. It will keep your mind busy and help to reduce fears to a healthy amount.
What do you do to redirect your fears?
Even when you take control of your fears, some fear will creep in and I believe that is normal. You will not completely extinguish an emotion and you shouldn’t. But you will allow yourself to deal with this emotion in a healthy way and a way that works for you while living police wife life. It is really important to not let this life (law enforcement life) take over yours. You must learn to live your life while having police wife life be ONE aspect that makes up who you are.
Do you feel that your fears get reduced as time goes on? Do you ever feel that you “get used to” your fears? Let me know- I LOVE to hear from my readers!
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