The current climate regarding law enforcement is down right scary. We hear it, we see it, we feel it. I feel like my only option is to talk about it today. I, too, feel angry and scared that our loved ones must walk into the unknown and chaos each and every day just for doing their jobs. It is wrong. I feel that the media is a huge driving force behind the lack of support for law enforcement. Stories are spun, lies are told, and law enforcement seems to be the most misunderstood career with violent repercussions.
As police wives, we stand by and watch all of this. We watch the media, we hear the stories, we see the lack of support for law enforcement, we see the look on our officer’s faces. All the while, ours fears are often kept inside. We want to stay strong for our spouses but we are on the verge of tears as soon as they walk out that door.
We can talk to our spouses about our fears, but at the same time, we don’t want to bring more light to a situation that is already a constant in their minds. It is important for us to find others who understand our fears, can relate to them, and work through them together. We need back up, no pun intended.
What we need to remember:
We are stronger than we think we are. We can not and will not let the fear of what is going on be who we are. It will not define us. It is hard to see amongst all the noise right now, but THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT STILL SUPPORT LAW ENFORCEMENT. We have to focus on the good around us or we will drown in negativity.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I know that because I do it, too. I used to hear sirens, scroll through my newsfeed and read breaking news. Stories and fears would remain in my head and I could not get them out. I could not move on, I could not sleep and I was letting it ruin my day. It is utterly exhausting. We have to find a balance of working through our emotions while still consuming and acknowledging the good and positive around us.
Just because we are crying, sad, angry, confused, does NOT mean we are not strong. We are not weak. Your feelings are REAL and they are VALID. Trying to process all we are going, what our community and officers are going through, is HARD.
Please know that you are not alone. Whether it is a fellow law enforcement family or just a neighbor down the street that also supports law enforcement, know that others are having similar emotions, too.
There is no magic fix for making this all go away. There is so much work to be done, but it won’t happen overnight. In order to work through this, give support to your officer and family and even be part of change, you have to be in a good place mentally. You have to take care of yourself first, before you can give to others.
You can do things like:
-Shut off the TV and reduce social media.
Ignore the media as best as you can. Honestly. Remember this post is my opinion and my opinion is most of the media is doing more harm than good right now. We just can not succumb to the negative storylines. We have a life to live.
You HAVE to take time for yourself every day. Take time to read, devo, exercise, drink plenty of water, take a bath- you NEED to hold yourself accountable and give your brain a mental break.
-Find a friend that “gets it”.
I know this is not always easy, but finding someone that you can talk to, trust, vent to and who listens to you, is incredibly important.
If you don’t have that person, then join me on Instagram and I’ll be that person for you. I share encouragement in my stories each and every day and will only fill your feed with positivity.
–Read books that are about police wife life but let you reflect in a healthy way.
The Peacemaker’s Wife is a wonderful collection of 60 journal entries that provide inspiration and encouragement in your life as a police wife. It also has a TON of space for writing while you reflect on your own personal life.
Cuffs & Coffee: A Devotional for Wives of America’s Law Enforcement Officers by Allison P. Uribe is a good devotional. I look forward to having my own time to reflect on this unique life.
Both books allow me to put all my worry into the pages of the book, instead of in my life, and it seriously works.
-Give more support to your officer now than you ever have.
I always show my husband and fellow officers support for their daily sacrifice, as I am sure you do, too. But with today’s climate, it is time to amp it up. I do not ever want to my officer to feel like he has no support- EVER! Before he walks out the door, each and every day, I want him to feel my love and support for him, without uncertainty.
I am also encouraging him to do things for himself. When your spouses are home, they may need extra sleep right now. Or let them play those video games, go for an extra run, fish, whatever makes them happy. They need decompression, in healthy amounts, to relax.
Please don’t let this fear and worry consume you. Let faith in. Have trust in the amazing officer you are married to. Believe that if we continue to rise above, be positive and spread love, the greater good will one day prevail and shine through. All of this may not turn the world around over night, but little by little, over time, we CAN make a difference.
Keep on trucking and sometimes you just have to keep your head down to be able to move forward.
We will continue to stay united, support law enforcement and have each other’s backs.