After months of testing for our local police department and waiting for an acceptance letter, my husband finally got the call that he was offered a position as a deputy. He was starting the police academy in just a few short days. I literally had tears in my eyes for him. We were both elated and I felt so proud.
I still carry that pride today, but I would be lying if I said this journey was easy for me. Once the academy began, I quickly realized he was more than a man in a sexy uniform saving the world.
I felt lucky in the fact that he did not have to travel away from home to attend the academy, as I know so many officers do. He was literally five miles away. Because of this, I kept telling myself I should not complain about what I was dealing with, because at least he was close to home. He came home every night and I could still see him.
However, I still felt distant because I could not relate to all the new changes he was experiencing. We were experiencing. He was always tired and he very quickly developed a bond with this new group of people.
Ultimately, we made it through the academy and you both will, too.
But why not THRIVE?
Tips for surviving and thriving as a couple during the police academy:
Communicate. While this may seem like a no brainer, it is one piece of your law enforcement relationship that can get lower and lower on the totem pole. With conflicting schedules and trying to navigate new territory, keeping communication at the top of your priority list is a MUST. Commit to talking for at least 5 minutes per day. Check in and talk about how you are each feeling mentally, physically, emotionally. If you have reservations about this new way of life or need support, have discussions with one another. Find a time that you are both open and able to talk without distractions of work.
Have grace. Ultimately, give yourself grace that the changes you are both experiencing are completely normal. Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that not everything is coming easily. Take it one day at a time and remember to use the tools and resources you have right now. You may feel confident about rocking the police academy with your officer today but tomorrow your emotions may get the best of you. And that my friend, is allowed.
Embrace the change. Embrace any emotions or feelings you have right now because you will ultimately learn and grow from each emotion and situation you are in. Be open to finding a new routine that works for the both of you. Equip yourself with the perspective that this is your new normal and you don’t have to struggle. You can and will find your way. Will it always be easy? No, not always. But it doesn’t have to always be hard either. Perspective is beauty, my friend.
For some of us, the police academy is a whole new ball game. A lot of change can come at once, but with an open mind and a lot of communication, you can totally THRIVE in your relationship. You can stay connected all the while embracing new lifestyle changes. The best part is: you have one another, you don’t have to experience this alone, even if distance is a factor.
If you are able to see one another, even on the weekends, then I also encourage date nights as much as possible. Keep the romance alive and be intentional about your time together, even if it is short.
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