First, congratulations! If you are reading this then you are probably either pregnant or trying for a baby. Preparing for a little one in your life is one of the most exciting times of your adult life. My husband and I have 3 little ones and each time we were expecting was a joyous and special time for us.
The last thing I want for you is to let the stress of law enforcement life to take over your feelings during a very happy time. It happens to many police wives. Our emotions are constantly changing during pregnancy and it can be hard to balance your emotions while your husband is away working and you are growing a bundle of joy for many long months.
I totally get it. I remember riding those roller coaster of emotions, too. I often went from an emotional high when my husband was off and we prepared for baby. But while my husband was working nights, I had very emotional lows. Fear, worry, anxiousness- all surrounding his career and me being alone at night while pregnant, all set in. Having such a swing of emotions was exhausting, truly it was. It is also not healthy, for the mom to be or baby.
But, maybe, you are rocking those emotions and you have them in check. Great! Maybe you just need support? Some of us just need someone to go to doctor appointments with or to talk “baby stuff” with. When you husband is working, it is always good to find “that” person that you can go to.
No matter what kind of support you are searching for, you can definitely find ways to help you rock police wife life while pregnant!
Here are 5 surefire steps to help balance the ups and downs of pregnancy and police wife life:
Find your village. If you don’t have a village, utilize who you do have. Being alone while your husband is working is hard, but it is even harder to swallow while you are expecting. My mom was always my go to person for doctor appointments or baby shopping trips if my officer was working. If you don’t have family around, that is okay. It can be ANYONE that you feel comfortable with or close to. It is important to have someone to lean on; we all need those friends or family that we can call on for anything, any time of day. If people within your village offer help, TAKE IT! They sincerely want to help you or they would not have offered. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Chances are, you would do the same for any of them. This is why they are your village!
Set up ground rules with your spouse. By our second child, I realized that setting up some rules for emotional success while I was pregnant was highly beneficial. I needed my officer’s help more emotionally and physically during this season of my life. Usually by the time his shift was starting, I felt done with the day due to exhaustion. So I always gave him a little list of things to do before he left for work that would help me out greatly. I can’t tell you how amazing it was to have the trash taken out or our daughter bathed before he went to work!
Emotionally I needed my officer to be a little less forthcoming with his stories from work. Even though I had faith, I seemed to worry about him and his job more during my pregnancies, so it was harder for me to hear certain stories. He always understood.
So it may be a good idea for you to think about what would be most helpful for you. Do you need more emotional support, physical support, both? Try writing out the top 3-5 “rules” or suggestions that would benefit you the most while pregnant, then share them with your officer. I find that my husband doesn’t *always* know what I need, unless I tell him. There is no harm in that!
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Communicate. Your officer can’t help you unless the two of you communicate. So after setting up those ground rules, make sure you communicate thoroughly. I always had to explain to my husband that while I was not that upset, I was probably going to cry (lol!), due to the influx of emotions I had. He always appreciated the heads up! 😉
Communication is huge for any marriage. Share with your husband how you may be feeling about his job, your pregnancy, how his job impacts your pregnancy, any fears you may have after the baby comes, or just how you may need extra help at home right now. This is a very important and special time in your life; be open with one another!
Be okay with saying no. I can’t stress this enough. Get used to the fact that you are allowed to say “no”! You have the MOST important job in the world right now, growing a tiny human. So if you are tired, not up for being around people, missing your spouse, whatever the case may be, you are allowed to say “no” to events, gatherings, etc.
It is time to be selfish. Read more here about why so many law enforcement families say “no” and why it is completely acceptable!
Understand that your feelings are normal. Last, but certainly not least, please know that you are NOT alone. It is normal to have emotions that change at the drop of a hat. It is normal to have fears about your husband’s job that did not exist before you were expecting. It is normal to wonder what your police wife life will be like after the baby is born. It is ALL normal. Just keep taking care of yourself and your baby and all will be fine!
Ultimately, focus on the amazing realization that you are bringing a life into this world. No stress is healthy for you or the baby, so try to have faith in your husband’s training as best as you can. Find your strength from within and know that God makes amazing women police wives. Be open with your spouse about any emotions you have; I am sure it will be heard. You can and will get through this season of your life & you will rock it!
If you need support, be sure to join our closed group on Facebook, exclusively for police wives. We would love to have you!
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