I don’t think I truly grasped the importance of self-care until I become both a police wife AND a mother at the same time. One day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so busy caring for everyone in my family that I forgot to care for myself. I was tired, extremely stressed & found myself never doing anything for myself because I put myself last. I was completely burned out. That had to change.
As first responder spouses, we take on many jobs. Anywhere from living and parenting solo so much of the time to manager of our home and errand runner. Week after week we learn to balance more and more while often forgetting about ourselves. Or maybe we tell ourselves we will have that glass of wine at night or go out with our girlfriends next week, but our plans change and our self-care gets lower and lower on the totem pole.
This past Fall I was offered a trip of a lifetime through the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation. It was an all expenses paid trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for an Empowered Spouses Retreat. This retreat focuses on giving military and first responder wives a time for self-care, reflection, encouragement and inspiration. Knowing that I was exhausted and desperately needed something for myself, I said YES! It was the first time I had ever left our three young children for an extended period of time and I had no idea what I would do with “free time” because I had not had any in about 6 years.
But that retreat changed my life in so many amazing ways. With the help of Corie Weathers, Taya Kyle and new friendships from first responder and military spouses I have learned more about myself and how truly important it is to practice self-care. I learned to bring more balance into my life and not let the day to day of life control me, but instead, I control it.
So let me ask you this….
When is the last time you have REALLY focused on YOU or done something for yourself?
Why self-care is so important
Simply put, you can not be the best version of YOU if you don’t take time for yourself. You can not be the best wife, mother, friend, daughter, etc. if you are running on empty.
I know that when I take time for myself, even short increments of time, I come back feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. I am more level headed, balanced, calm & happier. I perform better when my self-care is a priority not a backseat in my life.
How to start making your self-care a priority
Make a promise to yourself. Right now. Make a promise that you will do ONE thing for yourself every week. Maybe it is taking a bubble bath or sitting by the fire and reading a good book for an hour to two. Or maybe you need time with your girlfriends or a new hair cut or walking aimlessly around Target with some Starbucks in hand. Whatever it may be, make a change to make yourself a priority this year. No more excuses, no more stress, no more feeling burned out. It is time to find balance.
Be in touch with your emotions. Recognize when you start to feel overwhelmed. What are the signs? Do you have emotional symptoms (moody, tiredness) or physical ones (shaky, sweaty)?
Ever since my trip last September, I am learning to gauge my emotions better and recognize signs of burn out faster. I know when I need to focus more on myself. I do things with my girlfriends on a more regular basis, I make quiet time for myself more of a priority and I am looking forward to another Spouses Retreat coming up in March 2018!
Photo courtesy of InDependent
I signed up for the 3rd annual Military Spouse (& First Responder) Wellness Summit: Renew You from March 5th to March 11th 2018. It is lead by InDependent, Corie Weathers, and the Military Benefit Association. This wellness summit is all about crushing the burn out and giving you the tools find balance in your life with advice and inspiration from 10 amazing experts.
The BEST part: it is a VIRTUAL wellness summit from your very own home! You can listen to the audio recordings whenever your schedule allows.
As a VIP registrant, you can download all the audio recordings to listen to time and time again, receive exclusive health and wellness discounts AND you are also eligible to win the GRAND PRIZE: a FREE trip to the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation’s Empowered Spouses Retreat! The same amazing trip that changed my life last September!
You can sign up here and use the code EARLYBIRD at checkout for 50% off your ticket until January 31, 2018.
I hope to “see” you there!
Bottom line: you have to put yourself first. It doesn’t mean that your officer or children are second, it just means that your care is just as important as theirs. Crush that burn out and find balance starting with YOU. Make your self-care a priority this year- if you don’t, who will?
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