The requirements of being a law enforcement spouse

 

I am a woman that loves a man who has a career in law enforcement. Not to be confused with loving just a police officer because our loved ones are WAY more than just a police officer.

I will always choose to love this man no matter how hard this career choice can be on our family sometimes.

But sometimes his job as an officer, has me signing up for clubs that I didn’t ask to be a part of, like the “attending holiday events alone club because, yes, my husband works on the holidays.” Nonetheless, I still love this man and take pride in what he does for a living.

As the spouse of a law enforcement officer, I am often required to do things that I did not imagine doing when my husband first became an officer. Hard things, sad things, even wonderful things, like being lovingly surrounded by this blue community with a bond that is wicked strong.

But here are a few requirements you may need as someone who is married to (or dating) a person in law enforcement:

 

Requirement 1: Being more flexible than you ever thought necessary.

I’ve learned that no matter how hard I plan and schedule to the best of my ability, I have to learn to be flexible. Those plans change and sometimes they change A LOT.

I no longer get super mad or frustrated when things don’t go as planned, instead, I just know I have to pivot a little. But I also won’t let the uncertainty of my husband’s schedule sabotage our plans. Those plans will happen whether we have to reschedule them OR if those plans go on without my husband, it just depends on the situation.

 

Requirement 2: Having to play more than one role at a time.

When our spouses work long hours or work days on end (plus overtime, plus court and training, etc), we have to wear many hats. Especially now as a mom, I am often the team coach, house cleaner, both parents and the list goes on.

With that said, when my husband is home, he picks up a lot of those roles himself. We work as a team, always, but I often feel required to “do more” when he is on duty.

 

Requirement 3: Relying on strength, faith and love to keep you going.

If anyone says that this lifestyle is easy then they are lying to you. But you also don’t have to struggle going through life as a police wife.

You will go through seasons with your officer and some will be hard and some will be easier. Some days you may have fear or worry and other days those emotions may feel low and well managed.

Regardless, I have always relied on my strong relationship with my husband, my faith in God and my husband’s training and our love to get me through. I remind myself that while this is a lifestyle we choose, it is NOT all of our life, just one piece of our puzzle.

 

Requirement 4: Being a master communicator.

I don’t claim to be a perfect communicator but over the years my husband and I have learned that communication is the single most important skill that has kept us going. It has taken us years to hone in on our communication skills and what works best for OUR relationship.

In order for us to schedule events, make time for ourselves, make time with one another + family time, etc. we have to communicate. To keep our relationship strong, again, we have to communicate.

When days or weeks are rough with schedules and life, we have to talk about it, so it does not get the best of us.

If I could only ever give you one piece of advice, it would be to work on communication with your spouse. Engage with one another, be intentional about conversing, and try to check-in every day.

 

 

Honestly ladies, this list could go on and on. We are some tough cookies with a whole ton of tools in our pockets. Tools I don’t think I had or were quite as sharpened before law enforcement life for us.

Police wife, this job can be a hard one. But no one is doing it better than you. You are not alone and you will never be alone.

If you need help navigating this life or maybe just some encouragement, be sure to check out my brand new journal for police wives on Amazon, The Peacemaker’s Wife, full of writing prompts to guide you in police wife life.