Support for the Police Wife/Girlfriend During the War on Cops

Police wife/girlfriend, I understand what you are going through because I am you.

I am a police wife of fourteen years and never have I seen the hate for law enforcement like I do today.

Some days are worse than others, but it does not ever seem to get better.

I know sending your officer out into the world given the current circumstances is terrifying, but please know, we can not live in fear.

Here are my best tips for navigating the current climate whether you are a new police wife, veteran, or girlfriend.

How to Navigate the War on Cops as a Police Wife/Girlfriend:

Listen, Don’t Fix

It can be a natural tendency to want to fix every problem or situation our loved ones are having. But it many cases this is not realistic. Much of what is going on in the world and experiences that your officer encounters at work, is not something you can solve. Instead, make yourself available to listen whenever he/she wants to talk.

Know What Your Triggers Are

It is incredibly important to be aware of scenarios and situations that may trigger you or bring you anxiety. Seeing negativity on the news, mindlessly scrolling social media and engaging in argumentative comments online are just a few examples. Loving a law enforcement officer in what feels like an anti-cop world means seeing negativity but how you respond when feeling triggered means a lot.

Accept Help

When stress levels are high you have to make it a priority to take time for yourself and your marriage. I know that can be hard to do around busy schedules but if someone offers to help you, watch your kids, bring you a meal, etc TAKE IT! Taking care of yourself sometimes means doing less. And honestly, anytime someone offers to help me, it is because they truly want to, so don’t ever feel guilty or like a burden.

Practice Self-Care

Navigating all of this is not only mentally taxing on your officer but also YOU! We encourage our officer’s time to decompress, but when are we doing it ourselves? Not often. Think about what truly allows you time to decompress and relax and put it on your calendar now!

Know You Are Not Alone

When you are deep in your emotions, I know it can be hard to remember this. But please reach out to me on Instagram, a fellow LEOW, or a dear friend that is good at listening no matter what. Thousands of other wives/girlfriends are in your shoes and there is no reason you should navigate any of this on your own. Connect with someone who gets it and find ways to navigate together.

Build Rest Into Your Day/Week

Turning off your mind from the world is extremely healthy. Be intentional and block off time to rest, relax and recuperate. Focus on finding things that bring you peace, joy, and calm to your life.

Just as you plan time for exercise, meal planning, work, time with your family, you also need rest, beyond just sleep.

Pray/Focus on Your Faith in Him

Know that God has already won. God is fighting battles for us all the time and this is one of them.

If you are a believer, how can you grow in faith by having time with God daily? For me, I have to find my time with the Lord when my house is quiet. I have to plan it into my day in the morning then I love listening to worship music when I start to feel anxious. It gives me the reminders that I truly need.

Remember That There Are A Lot More Police Supporters Than You May Realize

When the media blasts lies and negativity about police, it can be hard to see the positive supporters in this world. But believe me, they ARE there. I hear from them a lot and I want you to know, they SEE US. Don’t forget that.

Here is an amazing couple that emailed me and shared their story with me. They created a beautiful Hero’s Wall in their home just to show the support they have for law enforcement.

If you need more encouragement, be sure to check out my journal on Amazon, The Peacemaker’s Wife, that provides you with more than 50 journal prompts for navigating police wife life.