PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY…
…Seriously, I am at a loss for words. I have so much to say when my husband is working. When I am home alone with the kids ALL DAY craving adult communication I seem to have the words. But once I am finally around adults, on the phone with my mother, talking to my husband, I am stumbling over my words. You could ask me a question and here I am, “I don’t know.”
I seem to forgot little, what would seem like easy, things. For example, the pharmacist asks, “When is your daughter’s birthday?” My response, “Ummmm….” It literally took me a minute. I DO know that answer, I promise you!
Then I find myself thinking by myself, exactly what it is I want to say on a particular topic. This is just so I don’t get stuck in this situation and embarrass myself. Yep, total waste of time. Can’t remember a thing!
I swear I am intelligent. I have two college degrees. I used to be a school teacher. I think as soon as I gave birth, I lost the ability to formulate actual, coherent thoughts. Is lack of sleep the issue? I honestly don’t think so. It doesn’t seem to matter if I get 10 hours of sleep or 4 hours, I still struggle with formulating intelligent answers at times.
This is the first post I have written that is more about my life as mom versus a police wife. However, I am hoping someone out there in mom and police-wife world can relate.
So what have I tried to “cure” this?
I have tried doing little things throughout the day that help to alert or “wake up” my body and mind. If I get the chance with 3 kids, I will try to: take a hot shower, stroll the the drive-thru at Starbucks midday, get 5 minutes to myself during the kids’ rest time, exercise. I think, “okay, I feel better. Whew!” Then my neighbor calls me and asks for some advice talking to her child’s teacher. I should be able to help, right? I used to teach elementary school. Crickets. My mind is blank. I KNOW what I want to say, but at times, I just can’t find the actual words. It is like they are floating in this ‘mom hood’ bubble and I can’t reach them. Please tell me this happens to you, too!
Please tell me that there is a cure for this! Do I have any hope? Is it because my kids are so young? My house is so loud? I am sleep deprived? I am seriously hoping that one morning I wake up, my kids are much older, and my intellectual vocabulary has turned back on. But for now, I will enjoy my kids being little. Time goes by too quickly already. So until then, please forgive me…
What is it like for you as a police wife and busy mom? Are you a victim of mom brain? Does creating a routine help?
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