Hate. It is a strong word, but the only word I can use to describe the nightmare we are in right now.
Normally the posts you find on my blog are how-to’s or advice on how to navigate something in police wife life, but this is a bit different. That’s because our world is different.
This post is my entire heart in written form because I love someone who loves his job no matter how difficult it is right now, yet, he is hated for it.
I am fighting back tears just to see the keys on my keyboard to type this but it is important for me to write this and to be a VOICE for my fellow police wives/girlfriends because, for most of us, our voices can’t be heard right now because of the targets on our officer’s backs.
For many of us, we don’t even feel safe posting our support for law enforcement on our own platforms because we then have to deal with negative comments, hard discussions with family/friends and more hate. It is NOT because we want to be silent. It is NOT because we don’t want to have healthy discussions and stand up for what we believe in and what is RIGHT in the world. It IS because we are drowning in so much hate right now that we can’t take the constant negativity any longer. It IS because we are afraid to put another target on our own families back.
When we do speak, every sentence and every word is dissected. People take our words and twist them and only hear what they WANT to hear.
Right now, our world is utter chaos. Yet, our spouses CHOOSE, again and again, to suit up and walk into a world that hates them. They CHOOSE to help people NO MATTER WHAT. That is because they make up the MAJORITY of good cops in our world.
No matter how long you have been a police wife or girlfriend, we are ALL experiencing a level of fear we have never experienced before.
Of course I knew when my husband became a police officer that there would be good days and bad days. He would face danger more than once and not everyone he comes into contact with will be respectful or even “pro-police”. He is seeing some people at their lowest of lows, yet he is still kind, helpful and aims to make a difference.
Never once did I think that he (and our family) would be HATED for his profession.
Never once did I think I would have to tell our children that they can not tell anyone their father’s job. It is a noble profession, yet, some days and especially now, we have to hide that.
What others don’t realize:
The good cops (and their families) are sick of the bad cops that give them a bad reputation.
Just because we are supporting our spouses, standing up for law enforcement, and “backing the blue” does not mean we condone racism or injustices by law enforcement.
The poor choices and horrible actions are a reflection of BAD people, not law enforcement as a whole.
We married PEOPLE not POLICE OFFICERS. They are human. They have families. They have a heart like yours that wants peace and sees a need for change.
And please, do NOT mistake my perspective of sharing what it is like being a spouse of an officer as I do not have empathy for black people or racism. We all have many views and opinions on many different topics, but this is simply how I feel as a police wife during this time.
If you are a police wife or girlfriend reading this, please know:
I am here for you.
You are not alone.
You are not weak for being scared, worried, sad, angry. We can be mad at the officers that give our spouses a bad name AND be scared for the safety of your officer.
We are strong. We have always been strong. We are just being tested right now.
You are allowed to support more than one thing (law enforcement, black lives, PEACEFUL protesting, and justice for all).
We do NOT have to choose one side.
You need to block out hate and take control of your social media and what/who you let into your life right now.
You can remain proud of your officer but you don’t have to be loud about it. Takedown the thin blue line items outside your home and on your vehicles to feel safer (I certainly did) but know that no decal or flag represents your level of support. The love you have in your home does that.
When your officer is working, no news is good news.
If you need more encouragement, check out my journal for police wives and girlfriends on Amazon, The Peacemaker’s Wife. It provides you with journal prompts and quotes for navigating police wife life more positively.